 |
Site Map FAQs E-Greetings Forums Free Ezine Contests Search Google Talk Home |
 |
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
Visit
with Other MainStreetMoms...
|
Column Creation
“Dear
Jackie, How do you write such witty and brilliant columns each week?”
I’m sure there are many more of you out
there who wonder the same thing, so I’d like to take you behind the scenes for
a look at how I write a column. Let me warn you, however, that the making of
humor columns resembles the making of laws and sausage – it’s not always a
pretty sight.
The first step in the process is to come
up with a topic. My witty and brilliant brain is always on alert for possible
topics, especially when a family member or friend does something I can
ridicule (this is why I spend a lot of time alone). Sometimes topics are so
plentiful – like when I go to a class reunion or listen to a presidential
debate – that they practically hit me upside the head. Other times, I have to
conduct in-depth topic research.
The best such research occurs while I’m
asleep. To be the very best humorist I can be, I invest a lot of time in
sleeping. When I’ve slept enough to come up with a humdinger of a topic, I
awaken and head to my home office to begin writing. Being a columnist on the
cutting edge of the whole work/life balance thing (as all your best columnists
are), I have a flexible office space that moves around to meet my needs. Those
needs are usually best met in my favorite chair, which is conveniently placed
in front of the TV to allow me to keep up with world events. It is essential I
keep up with events in case I am called to participate in them.
Not long ago, for example, I was forced
to suspend my column-creation campaign and fly to Washington , DC to fix the
economy. I gave it my best shot, but my deprived fans soon demanded I resume
writing witty and brilliant columns. So I left the economy in the hands of the
financial geniuses who’ve been running it so far, and I returned to my easy
chair.
Writing can be a grueling, even painful,
endeavor. Like many a great artist, I am often driven to the edge of madness
in my quest for perfection. Van Gogh, as you’ll recall, cut off part of his
own ear. I haven’t gone quite that far, but I have been known to pluck stray
chin hairs while I wait for my creative muse to strike.
My muse is fairly fickle, though, and
sometimes she doesn’t show up. That’s when, even with a killer, sleep-induced
topic, I can’t quite begin writing. So I spend some time considering my
physical imperfections. A prime focus lately has been the unwanted hair that’s
suddenly appearing in places no hair had gone before. It’s tough to be witty
and brilliant when faced with such a problem. That’s probably why Van Gogh cut
off his ear – he saw hair growing out of it.
Maybe I could write a column about that.
|
|
|
||||
|
©
Copyright 2008 EMC Webs
All Rights Reserved MomsMenu | From the Homefront | FamilyCorner | Home & Family News | BabyUniversity | PersonalFitnessZone |
||||
